Workplace Policies (Effective Immediately) 1. Cheap Jordan 10 For Sale .1 Disagreements Minor disagreements shall be settled with small acts of violence: a slap to the face, a stapler to the groin, or a laptop to the knees are just a few examples. Employees may use any workplace object or surface in order to injure other employees. Remember: violence encourages others to better understand your way of thinking, and fosters respect in future disagreements. Those who attempt to settle minor disagreements with reason and dialogue shall be in violation of The Code. Major disagreements shall be settled by dropping the gloves and chucking knuckles. The last employee standing shall be considered in the right, though both employees shall be sent home for the duration of that workday. Third parties in disagreements are strictly forbidden, and any third party combatants shall be sent home without pay for the duration of the workweek, though will be considered to have grit and admirable character. Third party incidents shall be ignored if the number of those in the disagreement grows to include the division or team its entirety. Those not participating in a full-division disagreement shall be in violation of The Code and will be considered to be absent of grit and admirable character. 1.2 Benefits and Compensation Benefits and compensation shall henceforth be awarded without reason or rationale. Lower level employees will inexplicably, at times, be better compensated than executives or long-serving employees. Those in the Toronto offices shall be compensated at a rate double of that in regional offices. Performance shall have little to do with compensation. Unquantifiable intangibles will be cited as reasons for inflated remuneration. Those who have outstanding fourth quarters shall be rewarded for that quarter in ignorance of all previous quarters. Those who carry the bulk of the workload and adhere to The Code shall be rewarded in empty platitudes, but not monetarily, though will be considered to have grit and admirable character. 1.3 Responsibility Failure and underperformance by teams and divisions shall fall upon the team leaders and divisional executives. If teams or divisions fail to meet expectations, the team leader or divisional executive shall be summarily dismissed. Teams and divisions will publicly praise their dismissed leaders, and will promise to continue to support the organization with efforts of no less than 110%. 1.4 Discrimination and Harassment We expect and demand a respectful and professional work environment. Discrimination shall not be accepted under any circumstances, with the following exceptions: If it involves Europeans. If it involves French Canadians. If it involves non-Canadians. If its really funny. Harassment shall be tolerated only under the following circumstances: If it involves interns. If it involves first-year employees. If it involves guys who had it coming. If its really funny. For circumstances that do not fall into the above categories, please refer to The Code. 1.5 Statement on the Bearing of Firearms Carrying of firearms is strictly prohibited. This is not the NFL. 1.6 Health & Safety All workplace-related injuries and illnesses shall be kept private, and referred to only as upper- and lower-body ailments. Employees who are absent while suffering from workplace-related injuries and illnesses shall be considered to be lacking grit and admirable character. Should an employee be absent due to non-workplace health issues (hangovers, STDs, pregnant in an adulterous affair), their ailment shall be referred to as the flu or food poisoning. Information concerning hangovers, STDs, and pregnancies from adulterous affairs shall be kept within the organization, under the purview of The Code, and because they are indicative of grit and admirable character. For safety purposes, suits and protective headwear shall be worn at all times on the premises, and removed only in instances of disagreements (see 1.1) or celebration. Athletic supporters are not mandatory, but, cmon. 1.7 Nepotism Nepotism shall be rewarded and encouraged. Family members of previously successful employees shall be determined to possess equal or superior skills to the aforementioned. Automatic respect will be garnered. 1.8 Alcohol & Drugs Use of alcohol and drugs on work premises are strictly forbidden, except during celebrations or getting ready for a big day. Alcohol and drug use on employees personal time shall be discouraged, though ignored if said employees are productive or adhere to The Code or have grit and admirable character. 1.9 Media Relations After each workday, all employees shall be required to address the media. Team leaders and divisional executives shall issue brief statements, followed by terse and adversarial responses to the medias questions. The media shall, at all times, be considered ill-informed and intrusive. Employees will be permitted to answer questions with only the following five responses: We gave a 100% and put in a full day. Its all about the team. I refer you to The Code. Were taking it one day at a time. Only time will tell. Any media member who challenges the policies or activities of the organization will be questioned for not having previously worked in our industry, and dismissed for a lack of understanding of The Code or the merits of those who have grit and admirable character. 2.0 Treatment of Co-Workers All co-workers shall refer to each other by their first name or surname with a –y added to the end (Smith=Smithy or Smitty, Dave=Davey) or by a nickname that is equally affectionate and insulting. Adolescent, insulting, and vile language is henceforth the norm. Employees are encouraged to insult co-workers by calling each other by names that are not gender appropriate, referring to having intercourse with each others mothers and/or partners, and to question both the size and effectiveness of employees manhood. Such language is noted to adhere to The Code, and those who excel at its employment are seen to have grit and admirable character. 2.1 Transferability Henceforth, all employee contracts are transferable. Without notice or warning, any employee may be transferred to another organization. Reasoning for the transfer must include: Spite. Mismanagement. An attempt to shake things up. Disagreement over compensation. Perceived disrespect. Employees request. Failure to adhere to The Code. Lack of grit and/or admirable character. Alternately, employees may now be demoted to subsidiary organizations with lesser facilities in lesser locations, though these subsidiaries are known to foster grit and admirable character. 2.2 Repercussions Minor violation of any of these policies, or any act that violates The Code, will result in a half-day banishment to a secured cubicle that has been built in each divisions workspace. While in the secured cubicle, penalized employees will feel shame. Major violations shall require suspensions at the purview of management, though the length of any suspension shall not be related to any other. At the discretion of management, minor and major violations may be ignored if they are deemed to fall under the discretion of The Code. In such instances, the offending party shall be labeled as having grit and admirable character. Conclusion Each of these policies may change without notice or rationale at the discretion of management, and every 4-8 years the workplace shall be shutdown for 8 months to reevaluate all policies to the great frustration of our valued customers. All employees are forthwith encouraged to adhere to The Code and develop grit and admirable character, or they should go work for a European organization. Interested parties may opt to enroll in the organizations monthly character building workshops on the Sutter Family farm in Viking, Alberta. Cheap Authentic Air Jordan 10 .Currently no, Tatjana Haenni, FIFAs deputy director of the competitions division and head of womens competitions, said Tuesday in an interview from Ottawa. Authentic Air Jordan 10 . Torres scored the first goal by an English team in the knockout phase of the Champions League this season when he met Cezar Azpilicuetas cutback in the ninth minute of their first leg match in the last 16. But Chelsea failed to make the most of its counterattacks and the Turkish champions equalized in the second half after gaining in confidence and cutting out their defensive mistakes. http://www.cheapairjordan10.com/ . LOUIS -- Russell Martin wanted a better fate for his starting pitcher and helped deliver a happier ending. DENVER -- Serge Ibaka helped Oklahoma City get off to a good start. Kevin Durant and Russell Westbrook provided the strong finish. Ibaka scored Oklahoma Citys first 11 points of the game, Durant finished with 30 points again and the Thunder beat the Denver Nuggets 105-93 on Tuesday night for their seventh consecutive victory. "Its a good win," said Durant, who had 30 or more points in a game for the 12th time this season, most in the NBA. "We came here and beat a team that plays well at home and has been playing really well since the last time we played them. Any win on the road is tough, so well take it." Westbrook had 21 points, 13 rebounds and eight assists, half of them in the opening minutes on feeds to Ibaka, who finished with 17 points and 10 rebounds. "Once they put two guys on myself or Kevin, our job is to make the other guys better," Westbrook said. "Thats what I did early in the game. If two guys are guarding me, then somebody is open." The shooting lanes opened up after that for Durant and Westbrook. "My teammates set me up so well and I was just trying to be aggressive because I knew I didnt start the game off the way I wanted to," Durant said. "The third quarter is always key for us so I just put my head down and tried to score." Denver had won 10 of 13. J.J. Hickson had 20 points and 14 rebounds, but the Nuggets dropped to 0-2 this season against Oklahoma City. Ty Lawson added 17 points and 13 assists. "We made too many turnovers after the first quarter and thats when (Thunder) made their run," Lawson said. "When they start making their runs and hitting their 3s, they are tough to stop. The third quarteer we came out strong and started turning the ball over again. Air Jordan 10 For Sale. It was all self-inflicted." After Hickson made one of two foul shots to get the Nuggets within two, the Thunder put together a 9-0 run capped by a 3-pointer by Durant for a 69-58 lead with 4:56 left in the third. Evan Fournier broke up the flurry with a 3-pointer but Oklahoma City still led 75-65 going into the fourth. The Thunder stretched their lead to 13 points on a basket by Jeremy Lamb but Denver closed to 83-77 with 7:15 remaining, getting 10 straight points from Nate Robinson, including consecutive 3-pointers. Denvers rally stalled from there, and Durant hit a jumper and Westbrook and Lamb each connected on 3-pointers to help Oklahoma City to a comfortable 97-79 lead with 4:28 left. The Nuggets didnt threaten the rest of the way. Durant heated up in the last couple of minutes of the second quarter, dunking on consecutive possessions off alley-oop passes and then hitting a 3-pointer to push Oklahoma City to a 52-44 halftime lead. The Thunder led by as many as 12 points early on, going in front 37-25 when Reggie Jackson converted a steal into a fast-break layup midway through the second quarter. Kenneth Faried scored 11 of his 13 points in the first half for Denver. NOTES: Lawson has scored 10 or more points in 20 of 22 games. ... The Thunder have the NBAs longest active winning streak. ... The Nuggets Jordan Hamilton was ejected with 11:01 remaining after being called for a flagrant foul 2 for shoving Steven Adams. ... Broncos wide receiver Wes Welker watched the game in seats a few rows up from the Nuggets bench. ... Oklahoma City improved to 15-1 when outrebounding the opposition (53-43). 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